All I know is that I have been nudged to write on several occasions and I hope that I will become dedicated, and who knows? Maybe this will lead to something good. Aside from living at home, I have applied to several jobs in this area, so that if things don’t work out with the husband that I might get a call back from around here. I also starting knitting furiously, and maybe that too can be a small source of income… I really am at a loss sometimes… it is craziness out in the world, and I feel sorry for those that are still blind to it and are pursuing higher education while taking on excessive student loans… I doubt there will be many jobs for them when they graduate. I have also been baking and cooking a lot lately… I do tend to do that when I am upset, because eating good food is good for the soul, mind, or something! Sorry for the rambling post, but whatever, I cannot be a good writer all the time.

My husband and I try to hand wax our cars on a regular basis. You might be thinking, “Wow, they must have really nice vehicles if they spend that much time and effort.” Well, actually my husband has a 1994 Toyota Tercel, and I have a relatively unglamorous 10 year old PT Cruiser. So why spend so much time/effort on such average cars? I would like to compare the cars to our worldly bodies for a moment. God gives us one body, and the world has its own view on whether it desirable/glamorous/sexy, whatever… however, all cars/bodies serve the same purpose. Cars are for driving and our earthly bodies are created to serve and bring glory to God. Despite the ‘car’ we are given, we should cherish what God has given us. If we do not care for the unglamorous/ugly things that are ‘less valuable,’ how would that prompt God to give us something infinitely more valuable? If we do not keep ourselves clean and protected regularly (ie, read the bible, pray, repentance, etc.), how can we expect to receive and maintain a relationship with Christ/God?

So before you can wax your car, you need to wash it first. Same with God in your life, if you do not admit and repent of your sins, God cannot properly work in your lives. Once the car is waxed, dirt and debris does not stick as easily, just like once God is in your life, Satan has a harder time “sticking” to you. He can throw himself at you, but with that protective seal over your life, he will just slide right off. I do not say that you will never sin again or that Satan can never affect you again, but with habitual renewal of that protective layer (prayer, quiet-time, etc.) you can certainly make yourself a more difficult target.

Now to the actual process of waxing! Generally you use old clothes/rags to apply and then later wipe off the dried wax. I would compare this to our life experiences (good and bad) that God uses to shape and clean up our lives to make us more attractive to God. This process is the longest, as you have to go over all the metal crevices and you have to avoid getting any on the plastic or cloth areas or it will create a permanent stain. How similar to the long process of shaping and molding of our lives, going over every part with great care and precision! There may be parts of our lives that we want to keep hidden, but he will expose them (sometimes painfully) and will buff those places until they shine.

Once all the wax has been applied and then removed, we go over the whole car with a clean soft cloth to remove the mess caused by all the wax being rubbed off.  I liken this to Jesus in our lives, he is the most pure thing given to us, and he ‘covers’ and wipes away our sins to reveal the now-shiny (new) person beneath the debris of our life experiences.

We all have debris and dirt in our lives, but with habitual ‘cleaning’ and by applying a protective coat we too can shine and reflect God, just as those shiny, freshly waxed cars reflect our admiring faces.

Thank you for your time by reading this and I pray that God’s work can be done through this sharing of a simple life experience of mine.

~Erin

His health has been up and down and we are meeting the transplant surgeon tomorrow morning to start the process of getting put on the UNOS list. (United Network of Organ Sharing)

Meh, talk of money and other stresses is making me more stressed… so hopefully I will post before next year!

Please keep us in your prayers.

Current Life Update: This I hope will be a start for me to write more regularly because I would like to finish writing a novel that I have started and someday have it published so I can pay off my student loans! Wouldn’t that be nice? I don’t need millions or fame, just enough to get rid of my debt so I can move on and do what I really want to.

I love biology, really I do, but right now there are not too many opportunities for work, especially in my particular area of residence for laboratory professionals. I love teaching and have applied to a college and was DENIED and so I am putting in an application to a local high school Monday in hopes that I can work there. The teaching job I held in the past never felt like a job and I looked forward to it every week. This may be a good sign that perhaps this is something I could do for many years to come… Fingers crossed and prayers said and I will update with the news, good or bad as soon as I find out!

Current issue of contention: Health insurance and the gosh-darned government!

So right now my husband and I are in health insurance limbo: meaning we are waiting for the 90 day waiting period before his current employer will let us sign up for insurance. Unfortunately, his past health issues make him ineligible for most health insurances which of course is highly complicated seeing as his medications are $$$ and he needs them to live. The only shred of hope is the fact that if this crappy health care bill makes it until 2014 then FINALLY pre-existing conditions will no longer be a way to deny Americans heath insurance OR deny care for the aforementioned condition. It just blows my mind that somebody could be denied healthcare for something they have no control over. I have much to complain/comment/whine about this topic, but this is all I have to say today before I start feeling angry about it again!!

On the home-front: Things are slowly and semi-steadily getting better, though I know it will take many years before we get more ‘settled.’ I do enjoy being a wife, but sometimes it gets depressing staying home all the time and being responsible for every little thing at the house. I look forward to working and that will be another challenge, balancing the home AND job, but I’ll worry about that when I get there.  My husband’s mother, brother, and sister will be down next week so prayers for that are appreciated! I’ll be planning their meals and activities this weekend so hopefully things will go well and we will all have a good time.

Book of the day: Bad Girls of the Bible and What We Can Learn from Them -by Liz Curtis Higgs

I wonder if I am quite possibly the worst wife in the world, or perhaps there are others out there struggling with the same things, but just not saying anything! I know that I am selfish, and that is my personal sin and struggle, but I feel like all these books that I am reading never relate the author’s struggle. Am I really just that awful?

Perhaps I should blame my upbringing or culture, however, that will not resolve the issue. I do feel that I was never ‘shown’ or taught about the Christian household and so all I know is my average American family. This is not a fault, I’m just making a comparison. My mother is very strong willed and throughout my childhood I have viewed her as the leader. Now fast-forward to my marriage…

Yeah… my husband is somehow more strong willed than I and does not tolerate me trying to be the leader… (I know this was wrong of me, but again that is all I have known…) He expects me to cook, clean, decorate, organize, keep house, etc… which is NOT what I ever planned on doing….

I went to school to be a DNA analyst and work in a laboratory, NOT to keep house! So, God being the way He is put me in this very position so I could learn some valuable lessons. Knowing this I try to accept and improve myself, however this does not make things easier. Struggles still exist and my stubborn ways are still there, but I believe I have been improving.

So, I am basically going to document my day to day struggles, falls, and baby steps forward because I feel that having truthful; REAL accounts of a Christian women adjusting to ‘US’ may be more helpful to some than a ‘perfect’ women explaining how to be a wonderful wife.

I can understand that many women prefer not to show their ‘ugly’ side due to social pressures, so this blog is an open forum to you all to share and lift each other up.

Thank you!

I’ve decided to start a blog on my personal struggles of taking on the new role of becoming a wife. I have been married nearly 6 weeks, 5 of which my husband was out of state. I believe that many women struggle with this life change and so I will document my experiences in hopes to help others and eventually to develop a support system for us Christian women who sometimes are unsure of who to go to for advice. I encourage anyone to comment so that this blog can  be of help to many women of various backgrounds.

A little about myself:

I am a relatively new Christian (6 years this November) and have married a man who has grown up in the Christian faith. We have known each other for nearly 6 years and are newly married. We met in college and have always enjoyed cooking, grocery shopping, and studying together. My husband is in his last year of a PharmD program and is hoping to specialize for at least another year after he graduates in May.

We are drastically different people, and yet we made fabulous laboratory partners back in the day =) Our personalities and life goals are on opposite sides of the spectrum as well. I am a very emotional woman who tends to react instead of thinking things through, and he is a critical, non-emotional man who is great at planning things and getting them done.

Neither of us is very good at reading each other and communication is our biggest issue, however, I am certain that with enough effort from the both of us will eventually conquer this big gap between us.

I am currently going through Debi Pearl’s book Created to be his Help Meet and have only read the first 5 chapters so far. The biggest revelation to me is the fact that although my husband may not acting in a way that is deserving of my love; that I should love him nonetheless just like how none of us deserve God’s love, yet He loves us completely and unconditionally.

Sometimes harsh words are spoken and I am offended at what my husband has said, but I must not strike back and be unloving. I know that overall my husband is a wonderful man and although he can say many things, I too am guilty of being harsh to him as well.

I will continue to pray that I can become a better listener and not talk back to my husband every time he opens his mouth.

Have any of you ladies had a similar experience?